How marriage and couples counselling can help
Your relationship may be at a stage where you or your partner are finding it difficult to see a way forward together that feels satisfying or fulfilling.
Your relationship may no longer provide what one or both of you are looking for, and you may now be wondering whether you can make changes in your marriage or relationship to improve your life together.
Couples counselling is for all couples, whether you are actually married or simply in a long-term relationship.
It provides a space for you and your partner to explore the difficulties and issues that have arisen in your relationship and see whether you can work through them to bring about change and a happier, more contented relationship.
We have three centres in Dublin: Dundrum (Dublin 14), Donnybrook (Dublin 4) and Wicklow Street (Dublin 2, city centre) and two in Galway.
When a marriage or relationship is in difficulty
Communication in your relationship may have become difficult or negative, often due to the demands of a busy life and the pressures of work and children.
In other cases, the behaviour of you or your partner may seem unreasonable to the other, such as not being very interested in each other’s lives, feeling neglected, or excessive drinking, gambling or affairs.
You may be experiencing a lot of rows, conflict, resentment, boredom, feeling misunderstood, or it may feel like there is a lot of distance and withdrawal between you and your partner, as if you are living separate lives.
Sexual difficulties may have arisen in the relationship, and you may have infrequent or no sexual relationship together. Your relationship may be at a stage where one or both of you find it difficult to communicate easily, leading you to argue quickly or simply not say what you need to say.
If your marriage or relationship is no longer providing what you are looking for, now is the time to consider couples counselling.
How couples counselling can help
An experienced counsellor can help you and your partner clarify issues and difficulties and see whether you can improve them together.
Counselling can help you better understand each other’s family backgrounds and personal histories. This can be an important part of the therapy process, helping you understand the dynamics and problematic issues and behaviours that may now exist in the relationship you have created together.
It is important to know what each of you brings to the relationship from your own family history. Some of this may indeed be very healthy and beneficial to your relationship, but some of it may get in the way of you forming a happier relationship with your partner.
Family history can create tension and stress as you struggle with your differences. In a long-term relationship or marriage, couples often move toward a model of fusion, where differences are smoothed over.
This is often seen as a healthy development, but in fact one or both of you may feel you have had to compromise hugely and are not really able to be yourself or express your differences in a way your partner hears and respects.
Couples counselling allows you to be two individuals who are in a relationship together, and yet can be separate in your differences.
What happens in couples counselling sessions
Your couples counsellor will generally work with you as a couple in sessions. The therapist may also do some separate individual sessions with one or both of you.
You and your therapist will work this out so the process is clear and transparent.
Your counsellor will explain how they will work with you, how many sessions you will contract for initially, and establish what both you and your partner wish to get from the process. In circumstances where either you or your partner does not wish to remain in couple counselling, the other may be encouraged to remain in individual therapy.
Who comes to us
The couple counsellors at Mind and Body Works have experience working with many different issues which present in couples and their relationships.
Couples in therapy are not necessarily married, and in many cases they are not. Many couples are in a long-term relationship, or may be considering marriage but experiencing difficulties.
We also work with couples who are separating or have already separated.
Our counsellors also have experience of working with different types of relationships, including gay and lesbian couples, couples with and without children, couples of other nationalities, inter-racial couples, and polyamorous relationships.
The additional help and support of an experienced counsellor can be very beneficial in helping the couple clarify the issues they are facing and see whether these can lead to a happier and more fulfilling relationship.
How much is couples counselling in Ireland?
Couples counselling costs between €80 and €120, depending on the therapist. Each therapist lists the price on their booking form.
What is the 5 5 5 rule in couples therapy?
The 5-5-5 rule is a couples’ communication exercise:
- 5 minutes: One partner speaks uninterrupted.
- 5 minutes: The other partner speaks uninterrupted.
- 5 minutes: Both discuss solutions together.
It encourages listening, understanding and resolving disagreements without blame or interruption.
What is the success rate of couples counselling?
Research suggests that 70% to 75% of couples experience improved relationship satisfaction after couples counselling, while nearly 90% report better emotional well-being. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) shows particularly promising results, with improvement rates reaching 90%.
Most couples attend approximately 12 sessions, with two-thirds making meaningful progress within 20 sessions. Success depends on seeking help early, both partners’ commitment and a willingness to change. Importantly, successful counselling doesn’t always mean staying together; it can also help couples separate amicably.