Couples Relationship Counselling
Your relationship might feel stuck. That distance between you both, maybe it’s been growing for months, maybe years. The conversations that once flowed easily now might end in silence or arguments. Or perhaps you’re just… coexisting. Sharing space but not really sharing yourselves.
You’re not alone in this. Research from Amarach in 2022 found that 20% of couples across all ages and backgrounds are experiencing strain in their relationships at any given moment. That’s one in five couples navigating difficulties right now, just like you might be.
The good news? Help works. Around 70-75% of couples who engage in therapy report significant improvements in their relationship satisfaction. And the really encouraging bit: 98% of couples say the experience itself was good or excellent, regardless of whether they stayed together or not. Because sometimes, understanding and respect matter more than the outcome.
What Actually Happens in a Struggling Relationship?
Life gets busy. Work deadlines pile up, children demand attention, bills need paying, and elderly parents need care. Somewhere in all that chaos, the two of you stopped being a priority. Communication becomes transactional: “Did you pick up milk?” “Can you collect them from football?” The deeper stuff, hopes, fears, get shelved.
For some couples, conflict becomes the norm. Bickering about small things (why can’t you just close the cupboard doors?) that’s really about bigger things (do you even see me anymore?). For others, it’s the opposite: careful avoidance, walking on eggshells, saying nothing rather than risking another row.
Sexual intimacy often suffers too. What was once natural and connecting becomes complicated, infrequent, or stops altogether. For some couples, physical touch might disappear entirely, not even a casual hand on the shoulder as you pass in the kitchen.
Money can create particular tension in relationships. Research highlights financial pressure as the biggest strain on marriages in Ireland, which makes sense given the housing crisis and cost of living pressures many couples are facing. When you’re stressed about rent, mortgages or childcare costs, it’s hard to focus on emotional connection.
And then there’s the big stuff: infidelity, whether physical affairs or what some call “emotional cheating” through excessive online connections. Addiction to alcohol, gambling, and pornography. Major life transitions like redundancy, illness, bereavement, or becoming a parent. Any of these can shake a relationship to its foundations.
The Therapeutic Approaches
Different therapists use different methods. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps you understand and reshape emotional responses, creating new patterns of interaction. With EFT, approximately 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery. It’s particularly helpful when depression or anxiety is involved.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for couples focuses on changing thought patterns and behaviours, and developing practical problem-solving skills.
The Gottman Method emphasises building friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning, based on Dr Gottman’s research showing successful couples maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.
Most therapists draw from multiple approaches, adapting to what you need.
When Should You Consider Couples Counselling?
The average couple will wait up to six years after problems start before they seek help. Six years of accumulated hurt, resentment, and disconnection. By then, the walls are high, and the distance feels vast.
You don’t have to wait until everything’s broken. In fact, 35% of couples report starting therapy before even moving in together, and 31% engage in premarital counselling. Preventative work, addressing patterns before they harden into problems, can be transformative.
Consider counselling if:
- You can’t have a conversation without it escalating into conflict
- You’re avoiding difficult topics because it feels pointless
- One or both of you has had (or is having) an affair
- Sexual intimacy has disappeared or become a source of tension
- You’re facing a major life transition together (new baby, illness, job loss)
- You feel more like housemates than partners
- There’s emotional or financial infidelity happening
- You’re wondering whether to stay together at all
That last one matters. Couples counselling isn’t always about staying together. Sometimes it helps you separate with clarity and respect, especially when children are involved.
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How Can Couples Counselling Actually Help?
Think of a skilled couples therapist as a translator and guide. They help you understand what you’re each really trying to say beneath the words. When you say, “You never help with the kids,” what you might mean is “I feel overwhelmed and alone.” When your partner says, “You’re always criticising me,” they might mean “, I feel like I can never get it right with you.”
Studies show that people receiving couples therapy are better off than 70-80% of individuals not receiving treatment.
What You Can Expect
Your therapist will usually see you both together, though some individual sessions might happen too. The first sessions involve understanding your story: how you met, what drew you together, what’s changed. Your therapist will ask about your family background, not to pry, but because we all bring our childhood relationship models into our adult partnerships.
You might discover that your communication patterns mirror what you saw growing up. That your way of handling conflict (withdraw and go silent, or fight and pursue) was learned young. Understanding these roots doesn’t excuse current behaviour, but it provides context for change.
Most couples complete therapy within 20 sessions, though this varies enormously depending on your specific issues. Some couples find benefit in just 6 – 12 sessions; others need longer-term work, particularly if there’s been infidelity or trauma.
Who Comes to Couples Counselling?
Everyone. Seriously. Married couples, yes, but also long-term partners, people considering marriage, those in the process of separating, same-sex couples, polyamorous relationships, couples with children, couples without, first relationships, second marriages.
At Mind and Body Works, we work with the full spectrum of human relationships across our Dublin, Galway, and online services. Our therapists have experience with intercultural couples, relationships navigating religious differences, LGBTQ+ partnerships, and every configuration in between.
Age doesn’t matter either. While couples aged 25-30 make up the largest group in therapy (31%), we see couples in their twenties through to their eighties. The demographic reporting the highest relationship satisfaction, incidentally, is those over 55 who’ve been together 30+ years, suggesting that long-term investment in a relationship really does pay off.
The Irish Context
Ireland’s relationship landscape is shifting. Marriage rates have declined 3.8% from 2023 to 2024, with people marrying later. The average age is 37.7 for men and 35.9 for women, one of the highest in Europe.
Amidst changing attitudes and behaviours when it comes to marriage and relationships, although only 12% of Irish couples have received relationship counselling, one in five are open to it. That openness is new. It reflects a broader cultural shift towards viewing therapy as self-care rather than crisis management.
The barriers remain, though. Cost, certainly, private therapy isn’t cheap, and waiting lists for public services can stretch months. Stigma, too, though it’s fading.
But consider this: couples who seek therapy early, before resentment calcifies, achieve much better outcomes. Waiting until everything’s in pieces makes repair harder, not impossible, but harder.
Online vs In-Person: What Works for You?
Since COVID, online therapy has become widespread. Over a third of Irish adults are now open to online counselling, and research shows it can be as effective as face-to-face work. For busy professionals, parents juggling childcare, or those outside urban centres, online sessions offer flexibility without compromising quality.
At Mind and Body Works, we offer both. Some couples prefer the ritual of coming to our Dublin or Galway rooms. Others prefer to have their sessions from their home. There’s no right answer; it’s about what helps you both feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
Taking the First Step
If you’re reading this, some part of you already knows your relationship needs attention. Maybe you’ve known for a while. That knowing is itself a kind of courage.
The first conversation is often the hardest: “I think we need help.” But here’s what couples who’ve been through therapy consistently report: the relief of finally addressing what’s been unspoken. The hope that comes from having a structured way forward. The unexpected discovery that your partner wants things to improve just as much as you do.
You don’t have to have it all figured out before you call. You don’t need to agree on what the problems are or what you want the outcome to be. You just need to take that first step together.
At Mind and Body Works, we understand how vulnerable it feels to admit your relationship needs support. Our therapists create space for exactly that vulnerability, no judgement, just genuine understanding and professional guidance to help you find your way forward, whatever that looks like for you both
What Types of Couples Attend Relationship Counselling ?
Ready to explore whether couples counselling could help?
Contact us to arrange a confidential consultation. Whether you’re in Dublin, Galway, or anywhere in Ireland, we’re here, in person or online, whenever you feel ready.