No One
Just as there was no sex in Ireland before the Late Late Show, it is also generally acknowledged that menopause never truly existed before Joe Duffy and Liveline!
Everyone
And then the topic exploded. It was as if years of pent-up suffering was unleashed and women suddenly had a voice, an audience and a platform on which to vent.
There are possibly many historical reasons for this, not least the fact that life expectancy for women in the early 1900s was 54-58 years. Many women did not live long enough to experience symptoms. At the same time, the life expectancy of men was 50 years of age, thus it may not have impacted on their relationships to the same degree as it does now.
Every Ache
For a time after the initial ‘explosion’, every symptom imaginable was attributed to menopause. Every ache, every pain, every bad day was being explained away by the blanket of menopause. There was so much misinformation around that it was a murky area for medics to dip into, and the differing opinions in treatments was less than inspiring.
Women still experience vastly diverse diagnoses and medication plans, and many consultations with medics leave patients in floods of frustrated tears.
EveryBODY
There has been such a massive gap in the attention that this most natural event of a woman’s ageing process has gotten, that women were afraid to speak up. Instead, they bottle it. They suffer the torture of their bodies changing, the confidence that they once had just disappearing, their ability to function as capable, intelligent beings being undermined at every turn.
The consequences of these changes were and are, for some, just horrendous.
Every Symptom
Hot flushes, weight gain, night sweats, loss of libido, depression, anger, feelings of loss, brain fog, relationship difficulties, irregular periods, joint pains, dryness… The list is endless.
Everything
Thankfully, as their voices begin to be heard, women are first and foremost beginning to understand what is happening to them. Some women slip gently and gracefully from one beautiful life phase to another. For others, the journey begins early and can be a long, tortuous, lonely path, which can impact how they live the rest of their lives. For the latter cohort, theirs is a difficult road of learning and accommodating and adjustment to their new bodies and minds.
Everyman
And then there is the effect on those around them. The support, love and understanding that they need to get them through this is not always available to them. Like a pebble in a pond, the ripples spread and can cause much misunderstanding and heartache. So much ignorance around what is a natural phenomenon can cause so much pain.
Who Am I?
The invisible you when you enter a room, when you used to turn heads. Guilt that you are no longer the person that you used to be. The fear that the ‘new you’ will not be loved and cherished as before. Identity is key to how we see ourselves and menopause can change that perception. This time in life generally coincides with caring for ageing parents, children leaving home, perhaps retirement looming, major changes to roles that have defined us. The pressures are endless. The changes seem endless.
HRT is now freely available through your GP and that will help with the physical symptoms. Coming to know the new you may be a little more challenging, but so enlightening.
Supporting you through Menopause
Hormone replacement therapy can be genuinely transformative for managing the physical symptoms of menopause. Your night sweats might lessen, the brain fog may lift a little, and you might finally get a decent night’s sleep. But what happens when you’re still left with this stranger looking back at you in the mirror? When the person you were seems to have slipped away, and you’re not entirely sure who’s taken her place?
The emotional and psychological impact of menopause often lingers long after the hot flushes have subsided. You might find yourself grieving the version of yourself you used to be, or struggling to navigate relationships that feel fundamentally different now. Perhaps your partner doesn’t understand why intimacy feels so fraught, or why you seem to be pulling away.
This is where therapy can make a profound difference. Counselling during menopause isn’t about fixing you (because you’re not broken), but rather about helping you understand and integrate this major life transition. It’s about finding your way back to yourself, or perhaps discovering an entirely new version of who you are.