You’re scrolling through your phone at 2 am, that familiar knot of anxiety tightening in your chest. The same thoughts circle round: I’m just not good enough. I always mess things up. This is who I am.
But what if that story isn’t actually true? What if the narrative you’ve been telling yourself about who you are isn’t fixed – and what if you could rewrite it?
That’s precisely where narrative therapy comes in. It’s a therapeutic approach that views your life as an unfolding story, one where you have far more power over the plot than you might realise. Rather than seeing problems as permanent fixtures of your personality, narrative therapy treats them as visitors that have overstayed their welcome.
In this post, we’ll explore what narrative therapy actually is, how it works in practice, and whether it might be the missing piece in your mental health journey. Because sometimes, the most powerful change comes not from fighting who we think we are, but from discovering who we’ve always had the potential to become.
What is Narrative Therapy?
Two Australian therapists, Michael White and David Epston, sitting in the 1980s, completely reimagined how therapy should work. They were fed up with approaches that pathologised people – that essentially told clients “you have depression” or “you are anxious” – and wanted something different.
What they created was narrative therapy. At its heart, it’s a form of psychotherapy that treats your life like a book you’re actively writing, not a medical condition you’re stuck with.
The central premise is simple: you are not your problems. Your anxiety isn’t you. Your depression isn’t you. That voice telling you you’re not enough? That’s not you either. These are separate entities – stories that have somehow become the dominant narrative in your life, drowning out all the other chapters where you’ve been brave, capable, and resilient.
There’s something profoundly liberating about recognising that the story you’ve been telling yourself about your failures, your inadequacies, your limitations – well, it’s just one version of events. And like any story, it can be edited, expanded, or completely rewritten.
The Core Principles of Narrative Therapy
Externalisation: The Problem Isn’t You
The cornerstone of narrative therapy is externalisation – essentially, learning to see your problems as separate from your identity. Instead of “I am depressed,” it becomes “Depression has been visiting me lately.” Instead of “I’m an anxious person,” it’s “Anxiety keeps showing up uninvited.”
This might sound like semantic gymnastics, but it’s actually revolutionary. When you’re battling depression and you believe you are depressed, where does that leave room for change? But when depression becomes this unwelcome guest that’s been camping out in your life, suddenly you can start asking different questions: How long has it been staying? What invited it in? What would it take to show it the door?
Multiple Perspectives: Your Life Has Many Stories
Here’s something that might surprise you: your life contains thousands of stories. The narrative of struggle and failure that might feel so dominant right now? It’s sharing space with stories of courage, moments of joy, times you’ve helped others, and instances of unexpected strength.
Narrative therapy helps you excavate these alternative stories – what therapists call “unique outcomes.” Maybe you’ve spent years focusing on how socially anxious you are, but there was that time you spoke up in a meeting when someone was being unfair. Or that evening you comforted a friend who was struggling. These aren’t exceptions to who you are – they’re evidence of other stories that have been running alongside the more dominant, problematic ones.
Re-authoring: Becoming the Writer of Your Own Story
Once you can see these alternative storylines, narrative therapy helps you amplify them. This process is called re-authoring – essentially, choosing which stories about yourself you want to develop further.
It’s not about toxic positivity or pretending problems don’t exist. It’s about recognising that you have agency in how your story unfolds from here. Depression might have had the lead role for a while, but that doesn’t mean it gets to direct the entire show.
Social and Cultural Influence: The Stories Society Tells Us
Narrative therapy also recognises that many of our personal stories have been shaped by larger cultural narratives. In Ireland, for instance, there are specific cultural messages about mental health, about what it means to be strong, about seeking help. Sometimes the story that’s causing you pain isn’t even originally yours – it’s one that’s been handed down through generations or absorbed from societal expectations.
This is particularly relevant for our diverse community here in Dublin, where people from different cultural backgrounds might be navigating conflicting narratives about identity, success, and emotional expression.
How Does Narrative Therapy Work?
Walking into a narrative therapy session, your therapist will be genuinely curious about your story – not just the problem-saturated version you’ve been telling, but the fuller, richer narrative that includes your values, your relationships, your moments of strength.
The process often begins with what’s called “externalising conversations.” Your therapist might ask: “How long has anxiety been pushing you around?” or “What does depression whisper to you when it wants to get stronger?” These are practical tools for creating psychological distance between you and your problems.
Let me give you a concrete example. Sarah, a 32-year-old marketing professional in Dublin, came to therapy convinced she was “just not leadership material.” She’d been passed over for a promotion and was spiralling into a story about her inadequacies. In narrative therapy, this became: “Self-doubt has been really loud lately, especially after that promotion disappointment.”
From there, the therapist began exploring: When has Self-doubt been quieter? What were you doing differently then? Sarah remembered leading a successful campaign last year, mentoring a new colleague, and making decisive choices during a crisis. These weren’t flukes – they were evidence of a leadership story that had been overshadowed but not erased.
The therapist’s role here is crucial. They’re not the expert telling you what’s wrong with you – they’re a curious collaborator, helping you investigate your own life with fresh eyes. There’s something remarkably healing about having someone genuinely interested in your strengths, your values, your preferred ways of being.
Benefits of Narrative Therapy
The benefits of narrative therapy often surprise people because they’re both profound and practical. When you start separating yourself from your problems, several things can happen:
Self-compassion replaces self-criticism. It’s much easier to be kind to yourself when you recognise that depression is something affecting you, rather than something fundamentally wrong with you. You wouldn’t blame a friend for catching a cold – similarly, you can start extending that same compassion to yourself when anxiety shows up.
Guilt and shame lose their grip. So much suffering comes not just from our problems, but from our judgment about having those problems. Narrative therapy helps you recognise that struggling doesn’t make you weak, broken, or deficient. It makes you human.
You rediscover your agency. When problems feel like permanent character traits, change seems impossible. But when they become external challenges you’re facing, suddenly you can strategise, resist, and reclaim territory in your life.
The approach has shown particular promise for people dealing with anxiety and depression – conditions that often involve harsh internal narratives. It’s also valuable for those processing grief, navigating identity issues, or feeling stuck in patterns that no longer serve them.
For couples and families, narrative therapy can be transformative. Instead of “John is always defensive,” it becomes “Defensiveness seems to take over when John feels misunderstood.” This shift creates space for curiosity and collaboration rather than blame and escalation.
Who Can Benefit from Narrative Therapy?
The honest answer? Almost anyone who’s ever felt trapped by their own story about themselves. But it’s particularly powerful for certain situations:
If you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, narrative therapy offers an alternative to approaches that might feel pathologising. Instead of focusing primarily on what’s wrong with your thinking (though that has its place), it explores what’s right with your values and intentions.
For those dealing with trauma, it provides a way to integrate difficult experiences without them becoming your entire identity. You’re not “a trauma survivor” – you’re a person who has survived trauma and has many other stories to tell.
Couples facing recurring conflicts often find narrative therapy refreshing because it moves away from “whose fault is it” to “how did this pattern get established, and how do we want things to be different?”
People feeling stuck in life transitions – whether it’s career changes, relationship shifts, or major life adjustments – can benefit from re-authoring their story to include this new chapter.
And if you’re someone who’s always felt like there’s more to you than your problems suggest, narrative therapy might feel like coming home. It’s for people who sense that their struggles, while real, don’t define their full potential.
Narrative Therapy vs. Other Approaches
Every therapeutic approach has its strengths, and narrative therapy isn’t right for everyone. But it offers something unique in the therapeutic landscape.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), for instance, excels at helping you identify and change unhelpful thought patterns. It’s practical, structured, and evidence-based. But some people find its focus on correcting “faulty thinking” doesn’t resonate with their experience. They don’t feel like their thoughts are wrong – they feel like they’ve lost touch with who they really are.
Narrative therapy takes a different angle. Rather than correcting your thoughts, it helps you recognise that you have many different thoughts and stories available to you. It’s less about fixing what’s broken and more about amplifying what’s already working.
The collaborative nature sets it apart, too. In narrative therapy, you’re the expert on your own life – the therapist is simply a skilled collaborator helping you explore territories of your experience you might have overlooked.
Practical Takeaways You Can Try Today
While nothing replaces working with a qualified therapist, there are some narrative therapy principles you can experiment with on your own:
Start externalising your problems. Instead of “I’m so anxious,” try “Anxiety is really active today.” Notice how this feels different in your body and mind. What does this particular problem seem to want from you? How long has it been hanging around?
Investigate alternative stories. Think about a problem that’s been troubling you, then ask: When has this been less present? What was different about those times? What does that tell you about your capabilities and resources?
Write your preferred future story. Take 10 minutes to write about how you’d like your life to look in a year if your preferred qualities – rather than your problems – were in the driver’s seat. Don’t worry about being realistic; focus on being authentic to your values.
Practice curious questioning. When you notice self-critical thoughts, get curious rather than judgmental: “I wonder why that thought showed up just now? What might it be trying to protect me from? What would I say to a friend having this thought?”
Finding Your Way Forward
The beautiful thing about narrative therapy is that it doesn’t promise you’ll never struggle again. Life is complex, and difficulties are part of the human experience. But it does offer something perhaps more valuable: the recognition that you have far more influence over your story than you might have realised.
Your anxiety, your depression, your relationship struggles, your work stress – these are chapters in your book, not the whole story. And every day, you’re writing new pages.
At Mind and Body Works, our therapists understand the power of reclaiming your narrative. Whether you’re looking for individual support, couples counselling, or family therapy, we offer both in-person sessions in Dublin and Galway and online therapy throughout Ireland. We work with people exactly where they are, helping them discover the stories that lead not just to symptom relief, but to lives of greater meaning and authentic connection.
Because sometimes the most profound healing comes not from fixing what’s wrong, but from remembering what’s possible.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How is narrative therapy different from counselling approaches like CBT?
Narrative therapy focuses on separating you from your problems and re-authoring your life story, while CBT primarily targets changing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours. Both are valuable, but narrative therapy tends to be more collaborative and less focused on “correcting” problems. Rather than viewing thoughts as right or wrong, it explores the stories we tell ourselves and helps amplify more empowering narratives alongside practical coping strategies.
Q: How long does narrative therapy typically take to show results?
This varies significantly from person to person, but many people report feeling some shift in perspective within the first few sessions – simply from experiencing their problems as separate from their identity. Meaningful change in long-standing patterns typically develops over several months of regular sessions. The collaborative nature means you’ll be actively involved in recognising and celebrating progress as it unfolds.
Q: Can narrative therapy help with serious mental health conditions like depression or anxiety?
Yes, narrative therapy can be very effective for depression and anxiety, particularly because these conditions often involve harsh, problem-saturated stories about ourselves. By externalising these problems and discovering alternative stories of resilience and capability, people often experience reduced self-criticism and increased hope. However, severe depression or anxiety may benefit from a combined approach that includes other therapeutic methods or, in some cases, medication consultation.
Q: Is narrative therapy suitable for couples and families?
Absolutely. Narrative therapy works brilliantly with couples and families because it moves away from blame (“who’s the problem”) to curiosity about patterns and preferred ways of relating. Instead of “Sarah is always critical,” it might explore “how has criticism taken over some of your conversations, and what kind of relationship do you both actually want?” This creates space for collaboration rather than defensiveness.
Q: What should I expect in my first narrative therapy session?
Your therapist will be genuinely curious about your story – not just your problems, but your values, relationships, and moments of strength. They might ask questions like “How long has this difficulty been affecting you?” or “When has it been less present?” rather than focusing immediately on symptoms. The atmosphere tends to be collaborative and conversational, with your therapist positioning themselves as an interested partner in exploring your life rather than an expert diagnosing your problems.