Your first therapy or counselling session is a conversation, usually lasting close to an hour, about what has brought you to therapy, what you would like to change and how you and your therapist might work together. You don't need to tell your whole life story, arrive with a diagnosis or talk about anything before you feel ready.
Below we explain how to prepare, what you might be asked, how confidentiality works and how to tell whether a therapist is right for you.
How a first counselling session usually runs
A good part of the first session is practical: consent forms, fees, confidentiality and how appointments run. This is often referred to as the "Therapeutic Contract". You do not need to have read anything or signed anything in advance unless your therapist has sent you forms. Your therapist will check your contact details, ask about relevant physical and mental health information, and explain how they work, how cancellations are handled and what happens to your notes.
After that, the session becomes a conversation about you. Your therapist will want to hear what is going on, why now, and what you hope might be different. A first session is closer to an assessment than to an ordinary session. It's a chance for both of you to understand the difficulty and see whether you can work together. Your therapist may say how they would approach it and whether a short piece of work or longer-term therapy might suit you better.
You may feel nervous, awkward or unsure in a first session, and we think that is completely reasonable when you are talking to someone you have just met. Crying is common and fine. So is a silence, or saying "I don't know where to start." Your therapist is used to all of it and won't judge you.
It also helps to know that counselling and psychotherapy don't automatically involve a diagnosis, and counsellors and psychotherapists don't prescribe medication. If medication is something you want to look into, your GP is the person to talk to, and your therapist can work alongside that.
Preparing for your first therapy session
We'd suggest jotting down a few lines before you come: why you are looking for help now, what has been hardest lately, and one or two things you would like to be different. Some people like to journal for a week beforehand; others prefer to just turn up and talk. Either is fine.
A few practical things will make the day easier:
- Your appointment time, plus the address or the link for an online session
- A payment method, and any intake forms you were sent
- A list of any medication you take, if it's relevant
- Any accessibility or communication needs you'd like us to know about
- Questions you want to ask, and anything (a phrase, an article, a note on your phone) that captures how you have been feeling
Getting ready for a session in person and getting ready for one online are a little different:
| In person | Online |
|---|---|
| Plan your route and allow time to arrive without rushing | Test your connection, camera and microphone beforehand |
| Bring any forms you were asked to complete | Find a private room where you won't be overheard; headphones help |
| Give yourself a few quiet minutes before and after | Agree with your therapist what happens if the call drops |
We offer sessions at our Dublin and Galway locations, and our online therapy lets you start from home anywhere in Ireland. If you are unsure which suits you, our post on online therapy vs in-person therapy sets out the differences.
Preparing should take pressure off you, not add to it. There's no need to rehearse your answers or squeeze everything into one appointment. You will have time.
What your therapist may ask, and what you can talk about
Your therapist will probably ask what brought you here, how it is affecting your sleep, work and relationships, and whether you've had therapy before. They may also ask about your physical and mental health, any medication, the people you have around you and, where it seems relevant, your family history. You don't need to know your family's mental health history in detail. Tell them what you know.
Your therapist may also ask about your safety, including any thoughts of self-harm or suicide. It is a routine question. It isn't a judgement, and it isn't a sign they think something is badly wrong. It helps them understand what support you need, and it means you can be honest about it if it's true for you.
If you freeze, any of these is a perfectly good opening:
- "I haven't felt like myself lately."
- "I'm not sure where to begin."
- "The main thing affecting me this week is…"
You set the pace. You can pause, ask why a question matters, say you don't know, or say you'd rather not go into something yet. This matters especially if you have been through trauma, and our therapists won't push you into talking before you are ready. We've written more about why we value this in relaxing the pace in therapy.
The first session is also your chance to interview them. You might ask about their qualifications and which professional body they belong to, how much experience they have with your issue, how they work, how you'll review progress together, how often you would meet, what the fees and cancellation terms are, and whether you can contact them between sessions.
Confidentiality in therapy in Ireland
What you say in therapy is private, but confidentiality isn't absolute, and your therapist should explain its limits at the start so you can ask about them. The Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP) Code of Ethics and Practice describes confidentiality as "a vital basis" for the therapeutic relationship, and says that a practitioner's work must also conform to the law.
In practice, a therapist may need to share information if there is a serious risk of harm to you or someone else, if there is a concern about a child's safety, or if the law requires it. Each therapist's professional code and privacy policy set out the details, so if you want to know exactly where the lines are, ask. Wherever possible, a therapist will talk to you first.
The same IACP code requires therapists to meet regularly with a supervisor, an experienced colleague who reviews their work. Supervision is there to protect you. Therapists share only what is needed and keep your identity protected as far as they can.
Your notes and personal details are covered by Irish and EU data protection law. Under the GDPR you have a right to ask for a copy of the personal data held about you, and the Data Protection Commission explains that in most cases you can't be charged a fee for this.
Knowing whether a therapist is right for you
You're more likely to have found a good fit if you felt heard and respected, could ask questions freely, got clear answers, had your boundaries respected and left with some shared sense of what you'd be working on. You don't need to feel instantly at ease. Trust usually takes a few sessions to build.
Good therapy can feel challenging at times, and some discomfort in a first session is normal. Feeling pressured, shamed, dismissed or unsafe is different. If that happens, take it seriously.
Towards the end, your therapist may suggest an approach and how often to meet, book a second appointment, or give you something to reflect on. If they feel another therapist or service would suit you better, they should tell you. That's a sign of good practice, not a rejection.
Afterwards, notice how you feel. You might feel tired, relieved or a little unsettled after a first session, and all of these are normal. Write down any questions while they are fresh. Then ask yourself whether this way of working felt workable to you.
If something didn't sit right, you can say so, ask to change the approach, get a second opinion or try another therapist. One uncomfortable first session doesn't mean therapy can't help you.
FAQs
How long does a first therapy session last?
Most counselling and psychotherapy sessions run close to an hour, though consultations and specialist appointments such as assessments can be longer or shorter. Your booking confirmation will tell you how long your appointment is.
How much does a therapy session cost in Ireland?
Fees vary with the therapist, their training, the location, and whether you meet online or in person. Our current fees are on our prices page, and we keep a low-cost counselling option for people who would otherwise go without. Check the cancellation terms when you book, and ask your health insurer or workplace assistance programme whether they cover some sessions.
What is the difference between a counsellor, psychotherapist and psychologist?
All three can offer talking therapy. They differ in training, in their scope of work, and in the kind of support they usually give, and one isn't "better" than another. Counsellors often work on specific, current difficulties. Psychotherapists often work in more depth over a longer period. Psychologists study psychology at university and may also carry out assessments. Titles and regulation in Ireland can be confusing, so check a practitioner's qualifications and membership of a professional body such as the IACP, the Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy (IAHIP), the Irish Council for Psychotherapy (ICP) or the Psychological Society of Ireland (PSI). Our post on psychologist vs psychotherapist goes into more detail.
Do I need a GP referral for my first therapy session?
No. You can refer yourself for private counselling and psychotherapy. Some people like to let their GP know, especially if medication is involved, but you don't need to. If you're still unsure whether now is the time, our guide on how to know if you need therapy may help.
Booking your first session with us
To get started, have a look at our individual counselling and psychotherapy page and our therapists' profiles, which show who each of them works with. Then choose between online sessions or meeting in person in Dublin or Galway. If you aren't sure who to choose, get in touch and we'll help you find a therapist whose experience and availability suit you. When you feel ready, you can book online.
Booking that first session is enough for now. You don't need the right words or a plan before you come in. Working that out is what we do together.
If you need help right now, call 112 or 999, go to your nearest emergency department, or call Samaritans free on 116 123. The HSE lists more options on its urgent and emergency care page.