Online sex therapy is confidential talking therapy for individuals and couples who are finding sex, desire or intimacy difficult. It takes place by secure video, and you speak with a qualified psychosexual therapist from wherever you feel comfortable. Nothing sexual happens in the session. There is no nudity, no sexual contact and nothing on camera.
We know that talking about sex with a stranger can feel awkward, even mortifying. Our therapists are trained to talk about sex plainly and kindly, and they approach whatever you bring without judgement.
What online sex therapy involves
Online sex therapy is also called psychosexual therapy. It looks at the psychological, physical and relationship factors that shape your sex life. Our sex therapy is available in Dublin, Galway and online, for individuals and couples. An online session follows the same process as one in our rooms.
In a first session, your therapist will ask what has brought you, how long it has been going on and what you would like to be different. You then agree goals together. Later sessions explore the patterns that may be feeding the difficulty. These might be anxiety, past experiences or the way you and a partner talk about sex (or avoid talking about it). Your therapist will also introduce practical strategies at a pace that suits you. Our post on what is involved in the sex therapy process goes into more detail.
So you can put the question out of your mind: sex therapy never involves undressing, sexual contact, being watched or doing anything sexual for the therapist. Your therapist may suggest an exercise, such as a gentle touch exercise for a couple. If so, you do it privately between sessions and only if everyone involved agrees.
A psychosexual therapist is a counsellor or psychotherapist who has gone on to complete specialist training in sexual and relationship difficulties. A general counsellor may not have that training. "Sexologist" is a different and broader title, used by researchers and educators as well as by clinicians.
Sexual concerns that therapy can help with
Sex therapy is for anyone whose sex life has become a source of worry, distress or distance, whatever your gender, sexuality or relationship arrangement. The concerns people bring include:
- low desire, or a mismatch in desire between partners
- difficulty becoming aroused or reaching orgasm
- erectile difficulties, and premature or delayed ejaculation
- pain during sex, including vaginismus (an involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles that makes penetration difficult or impossible)
- anxiety about sexual performance, and body image worries
- intimacy and communication problems, or the aftermath of infidelity
- questions about sexuality or identity
- compulsive sexual behaviour, and the effects of sexual abuse or trauma on sex and closeness
Therapy works with thoughts, feelings, communication and behaviour. It does not replace a medical assessment. Many sexual difficulties have a physical side that is worth checking at the same time.
| Concern | How therapy may help | When medical input may also be useful |
|---|---|---|
| Erectile difficulties | Easing performance anxiety, taking pressure off sex and rebuilding confidence between partners | When problems keep happening, or come with a health condition such as diabetes or high blood pressure |
| Pain during sex or vaginismus | Understanding fear and tension around penetration, with gradual exercises you control at home | Always, so a doctor can check for infection, dryness, menopause-related changes or other physical causes |
| Low desire | Looking at stress, mood, relationship dynamics and what desire means to you | When the change is sudden, or followed a new medicine, a hormonal change or an illness |
| Relationship concerns | Helping you talk about sex, rebuild trust and reconnect | Usually not needed, unless a physical concern sits alongside it |
The HSE's guidance on erectile dysfunction is to contact your GP or a sexual health clinic if erection problems keep happening. It also notes that a GP may recommend sex therapy, either on its own or alongside other talk therapy. The HSE's page on causes of fertility problems lists vaginismus, pain during sex and loss of sex drive, and advises talking to your GP about them as soon as possible. Our view is simple. If there is pain or a sudden change, or you have started a new medicine, see your GP as well as us. The two kinds of care work well side by side.
Attending alone or with a partner
You can come to sex therapy on your own, with a partner, or for a mix of joint and individual sessions agreed with your therapist. A partner does not have to attend for therapy to be useful. Many sexual difficulties are tied to how you feel about yourself. Some people are single, and some are not ready to involve a partner yet.
It helps to know how sex therapy differs from the other support available. Sex therapy focuses on sexual wellbeing: desire, arousal, pain, pleasure and how sex fits into your life. Couples counselling looks at the wider relationship, such as conflict, trust and how you communicate day to day. Medical care looks for physical causes and treatments.
In practice these overlap. A sexual problem can put strain on a relationship, and a strained relationship can take the life out of sex. Your therapist may bring relationship work into your sessions. They may also suggest support from a GP, a sexual health service or a pelvic health physiotherapist. If the relationship itself is the main source of distress, we would usually suggest starting with couples counselling.
Online sessions also make joint work easier when partners live or work in different places, because each of you can join from where you are.
Effectiveness, privacy and security of online sessions
The research on therapy delivered remotely is encouraging. A 2022 review of 12 randomised trials in JMIR Mental Health compared psychotherapy by video or phone with face-to-face therapy for a range of less common mental and physical health conditions. It found no clear difference in outcomes, although the authors said there was not enough evidence to call the two equivalent. That fits our view: online therapy suits many people, but not everyone. It depends on the concern, the therapist, how much privacy you have at home and what you prefer. Our online therapy page explains how it works with us.
The practical benefits are real. You don't have to travel, there is no waiting room and you won't meet a neighbour on the way in. It is also easier to fit sessions around work, children or a partner's schedule.
Everything you share is confidential. Your therapist will explain the limits at the start. These usually apply only when someone is at risk of serious harm or a child's safety is a concern. Under data protection law, information about your health and your sex life is special category data, which the Data Protection Commission says has extra protection. A few steps help on your side too:
- use headphones, so only you can hear your therapist
- choose a room with a closed door, or sit in a parked car if home is busy
- use a private device with a password, not a shared or work computer
- avoid public Wi-Fi, and close other apps during the session
If talking about sex over video feels uncomfortable, say so. A good therapist will explain each step, let you set the pace and never push you to share more than you are ready to.
Finding a qualified online sex therapist in Ireland
Whoever you choose, check four things. They should hold a core qualification in counselling, psychotherapy or psychology, and have specialist psychosexual training. They should also belong to a professional body and carry professional insurance. Experience with your particular concern matters too. The Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (IACP) has a directory of accredited therapists. The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) is a specialist professional body for psychosexual therapy. Our guide on how to find a sex therapist covers this in more depth.
Before you book, it is fair to ask:
- What specialist training do you have?
- Have you worked with this concern before?
- How do online sessions work, and how do you protect my confidentiality?
- What are your fees and cancellation terms?
You also have rights once therapy starts. Your therapist should explain how they work and ask for your consent before trying anything new. You can stop, or ask for a different therapist, at any time. A reputable therapist will never start sexual contact or ask you to do anything sexual in a session.
Each of our sex therapists has completed specialist psychosexual training. Every therapist's profile on our website shows their background and who they work with, so you can choose someone who feels right.
If you are in crisis or at risk, call 112 or 999, go to your nearest emergency department or ring Samaritans free on 116 123. The HSE also lists urgent and emergency care services.
FAQs
How much does online sex therapy cost in Ireland?
Fees vary between practices. Ours are on our prices page, and we keep a low-cost counselling option for people who would otherwise go without. Your health insurance or workplace assistance programme may also contribute, so it is worth asking.
Do I need a medical referral for online sex therapy?
No. You can contact us directly without a GP referral. We still suggest seeing your GP if you have pain or a sudden change in sexual function, or if a health condition or medicine might be involved.
How many online sex therapy sessions might I need?
There is no fixed number. It depends on the concern, how long you have had it and what you want from therapy. Your therapist will talk this through with you early on, and the two of you can review progress as you go.
Is sex therapy suitable for LGBTQ+ clients and non-traditional relationships?
Yes, it is. There is no single "normal" sex life. Our therapists work with people of every gender and sexuality, and with relationships of every shape. What matters is what feels right for you and anyone you are with, not how closely it matches someone else's idea of normal. You can read more on our LGBTQ+ support page.
Taking the next step
Reaching out about sex can be the hardest part, and you don't need to have the words ready. You can contact us in confidence to ask about our therapists, availability and fees, or whether to come alone or with a partner. Or you can book an online appointment whenever you feel ready.