Bullying in the Workplace….. Bullying at home…. Coercive Control Join the dots…. Narcissistic Behaviours

If Narcissists are coming to light in the family and relationship setting, these personality types also have jobs. The behaviours of a narcissist manager follows the same behaviours, lack of empathy and damage to the victim. The individual can feel unable to talk about it, feeling shame, fearful what will happen or what people will think if they speak out. The bully has power and this contributes to the victim feeling scared, powerless and vulnerable.

Victims of bullying may experience isolation, depression, episodes of anxiety or panic. All too often the victim eventually leaves the workplace and the bully remains. The recent disclosures by broadcaster and lecturer, Dr Aoibhinn Ní Shúilleabháin about her two year ordeal of sexual harassment at UCD and how she had considered leaving her job as she felt it was the only way to stop the harassment has highlighted this issue.  Reaching out for support and help should not be an “arduous process”.

Research on the relationship between top leaders’ observed narcissistic behaviours and workplace bullying has identified some interesting results. The study revealed a strong and positive relationship between CEO/Presidents observed narcissistic behaviours and the presence of bullying within the organization. The results suggest the top leader not only directly impact the presence of workplace bullying but may actually create the problem. The study identified the need to use personality assessments when hiring or promoting top leaders.

Anyone can be the victim of bullying or harassment. Counselling for workplace bullying can help you to understand what is happening and why it is happening. One step in taking back control.

Having experienced bullying in my professional life, I have a deep insight into the hugely negative and pervasive impact this experience can have both professionally and personally. However with the appropriate supports and engaging in that process, closure can be achieved and most importantly felt.

Coercive Control

The first conviction for coercive control in Ireland was handed down on 12th February 2020.

According to the Domestic Violent Act (Ireland) the definition of Coercive Control states:

“Coercive control is formally defined as psychological abuse in intimate relationships that causes fear of violence of serious alarm of distress that has a substantial adverse impact of a person’s day-to-day life, manifesting as a pattern of intimidation or humiliation involving psychological or emotional abuse.”

Coercive control is very common, much more than it is recognised. Many of the perpetrators of coercive control will have a pathological disorder (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) undiagnosed. Power is the hallmark of pathological narcissistic abuse, in all their haughty sense of entitlement leads them to think that they are above the normal rules of society. To support their fragile ego, their lack of empathy for others and their sense of entitlement allows them to act out their callous behaviours and exploit their victims (their narcissistic supply). Coercive control describes an ongoing and multipronged strategy, with tactics that include manipulation, humiliation, isolation, financial abuse and stalking.

Effects of the Narcissist’s Coercive Mind

Unfortunately because the abuse is so insidious, most victims fail to work out these covert psychological behaviours that are causing them so much anxiety and stress. Therefore ego defences fail and has a detrimental effect on critical thinking, free will and decision-making

How Counselling can help

It can act as a support if you are in the process of leaving an abusive relationship and help to restore self-esteem and healthy ways of relating following abuse.

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