Lately, I’ve noticed a recurring theme in my therapy sessions: clients, particularly those in the Gen Z to Millennial age range, expressing frustration over the grip their phones have on them. They often share intentions to reduce screen time, feelings of powerlessness as hours slip away on TikTok or Instagram, and dreams of the activities they could pursue if they could disconnect from these apps. A common complaint is the inability to watch a movie or TV show without constantly checking their phones. Many also berate themselves for lacking the willpower to resist their devices, leading to a cycle of frustration and self-blame:
- I should spend less time on my phone.
- I’ll just check Instagram for 10 minutes.
- Why can’t I just close the app? It’s my fault for not having enough willpower.
It’s Not Just About Willpower
Blaming yourself isn’t entirely fair. As researchers like Jonathan Haidt and Johann Hari have highlighted, smartphones are part of an ongoing evolutionary experiment on human attention. Haidt’s work, including his book The Anxious Generation, compiles extensive research on how the human brain responds to short-form content provided by algorithms. These platforms are designed to be highly stimulating and attention-grabbing, making them difficult to resist. Similarly, Hari’s Stolen Focus delves into how our attention spans are being hijacked by technology engineered to maximise user engagement.
These apps are akin to hyper-palatable junk food—crafted to be maximally stimulating, triggering dopamine responses that keep you coming back for more. The longer you stay on these platforms, the more profitable it is for the company. It’s no surprise, then, that the content is designed to be as captivating as possible, often presenting visually stimulating, unusual, or emotive material that provokes reactions like anger, comparison, or insecurity—emotions that compel continued viewing.
Next time you’re on the “For You” page, take a moment to notice how you feel before and after using the app. Has it affected your satisfaction with your appearance or your perception of the world as a safe place?
The Mental Cost of Doomscrolling
Doomscrolling is mentally draining. Constantly shifting your attention in short bursts is energy-intensive. Your brain works hard to process new, stimulating images every few seconds. Moreover, much of the content is provocative, often angering or disturbing, which keeps you engaged but also emotionally taxed. This phenomenon is similar to how internet pornography has trended toward greater extremity to maintain user engagement.
Many people scroll before bedtime, equating it with rest due to its passive nature. However, this habit often delays sleep and prevents true relaxation, leaving you feeling unrested despite hours of scrolling.
This is not to say that social media cannot be a useful tool for staying connected with others and keeping up to date with current events or meaningful content. There are mental health influencers that provide people with valuable information and a sense of community and support for the struggles they are going through. This can be crucial, especially for those who are financially blocked from seeking therapy or other resources. Despite the positives of social media, however, the vast majority of clients I discuss this with say that they are unhappy with their current relationship with technology and social media. They express an overwhelming feeling of lacking agency when it comes to their interactions with devices; rather than seeking and finding content that they find interesting and stimulating and that fits into their lives, they are instead feeling mentally hijacked by the platforms, and feel depleted, as though their time, energy, and focus have been eaten into.
What Can You Do to Reduce Screen Time?
- Set Realistic Goals: Don’t expect to quit social media overnight. Start with small, achievable goals. Recognize that “just 5 or 10 minutes” of scrolling often turns into much longer due to the app’s design. Consider allocating specific times for checking notifications and scrolling, or set a goal such as avoiding phone use at least two hours before bedtime.
- Communicate with Others: Talk to friends, family, or partners about your struggles with screen time. Sharing experiences can be comforting, can help you realise that you are not alone, and can reinforce your commitment to change.
- Visualise Your Ideal Relationship with Technology: Imagine a scenario where you’re in control of your tech use. What does that look like for you? Perhaps you check Instagram once a day for an hour and can put your phone down at night to unwind properly. Envisioning this can help you work toward a more balanced digital life.
How Therapy Can Help
If you’re feeling depleted, frustrated, or guilty about your screen time, you are not alone.
Therapy offers a space to step back and ask deeper questions such as: What do I actually want my time to feel like? What matters most to me?
Together, you and your therapist can map out a sustainable plan for shifting your digital habits. You will also have support as you explore what surfaces when the distractions quieten down. Sometimes, when potent distractions in the form of devices are removed, we can often experience feelings or thoughts about ourselves we did not realise were there. Therapy can help you to explore this.
Further reading:
- Jonathan Haidt’s collection of research on social media and mental health: https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/research
- This interview with journalist Johann Hari about his book, Stolen Focus: https://www.the-berliner.com/books/your-focus-was-stolen-from-you-johann-hari-on-a-global-crisis/
